A year that began in profound darkness is ending in the brightest hue, a transformation I could never have imagined had I been given a glimpse as recently as ten months ago. I entered January shrouded in loss, having said goodbye to my beloved Harry just weeks earlier. For months, just the thought of his absence felt like a knife to the heart, an all-encompassing grief. I’ve since decided that such pain is the mark of an ultimate love, and for that, I am grateful. Forever changed by having been his mom.
Just as I began to progress in my healing, Los Angeles was overtaken by deadly, neighborhood-altering wildfires. Though my area was spared, I lived in fear for weeks as the fires burned uncontained and the air stayed unbreathable, nervous system on over-drive. At one point, I barely stepped outside for ten straight days, not the best for one’s mental health. Big thanks to Victoria and John, and Ben and Morgan in San Diego for opening their homes to me during that time. A few us even grouped one night for an evacuee dinner in La Jolla, a random reprieve (plus, sea lions have a way of making things better).
In desperate need of calm and peace, I was granted permission to work abroad from Guatemala, a place that has grown meaningful to me over the years. Unfortunately, on my third day there, I learned of the US government’s decision to move forward with dismantling the DOE, news that translated instantly into stop-work orders (and impending project cancellations). I returned to Los Angeles after just two weeks away, anxious about job security and what might lie ahead.
The good news is that I held onto my job, surviving multiple rounds of layoffs this year. Still, the impact has been heavy (how are we here – ‘we’ being the US – in this place and time? What a shit storm). My company’s leadership was forced to make major downsizing decisions, and many respected colleagues found themselves without work in an already brutal market. Consequently, morale took a hit. I found myself with more responsibility than ever before. I am grateful to my employer for supporting me at my lowest as the year began, and for recognizing and acknowledging my contributions by promoting me last month 🙂
In March, I decided to foster a litter of three kittens. After Harry passed, I spent some time volunteering at a shelter, but I found it quite overwhelming. I thought bringing babies into my own space might feel… easier? While it was definitely a bit of a crazy adjustment, they were an absolute joy. I felt my heart softening again. The hardest part was saying goodbye to two of them after several weeks of bonding, but they found great homes and I’ve stayed in touch with their adoptive families.
I adopted Harry’s mini-me. It felt right in an inexplainable way, and seeing this next-generation version of him has been comforting. Her name is CJ and there’s a silly back story behind the name but I’ll leave it at that. She’s completely different from Harry- very independent, not cuddly, an obedient listener, and, well, a bit physically asymmetrical. Many nights, she climbs onto me to suckle my arm for about ten minutes before scurrying off. She’s already flown cross-country twice and had a blast with my parents this summer while I was away. She’s a good, quirky girl. And to my delight, she already has a best pal (Dru’s kitten, Makai) who she has spent a lot of time with this year, as we take turns traveling and pet-sitting.
Other early spring highlights: a NC trip for our work “homecoming” (+ time with friends and family), gorgeous hikes that reinvigorated my love for southern California, a free day at the Grammy Museum, First Friday at MOCA, hanging in the South Bay with my funcle Gary, a few girls’ nights out, Phish at the Hollywood Bowl, American Idol audience tickets, and a solo drive out to Malibu.
And then it was May. We had a blast at the Wonderfront Music Festival in San Diego, highlights being the Donovan Frankenreiter sunset cruise and The Fray. College nostalgia at its best. Next, I traveled to Orlando for the final conference of our contract, a nice time with my colleagues (and particularly, the prof soccer match we attended). Following work, I drove north to Gainesville to see GG. We managed to yap for 5 full hours one day. I wish I could see her more often.
In June, in response to the ICE raids, I attended the No Kings protest in downtown Los Angeles. I was curious to see for myself whether the situation was as dire as it appeared in the news and if the president’s deployment of the National Guard was really necessary. What I experienced instead was a peaceful demonstration, people exercising their First Amendment right to dissent. It was heartwarming to see how LA rallied for its neighbors. I love this city.
For my birthday, I dined with some of my favorite LA girls and then headed off for 24 hours in Chicago, my first time back in over a decade. From there, I traveled to Wisconsin for Rachel’s bachelorette party. Milwaukee was particularly beautiful in the summer, and we adored our home on Lake Michigan.
July was full of festivities. We party hopped on the Fourth, went to a Dodgers game, picnicked at a LACMA jazz night, had dinner at The Prince (of New Girl), and took a day trip to Point Dume. As the hot temperatures took over, I spent more time hiking, cycling the LA River, and reunited with my college roommate Smashley.
By August, it was time for vacation. I spent a full week in North Carolina, and as usual, found myself juggling an overwhelming workload while trying to visit with limited time – never ideal. Still, it was nice to spend a few days with my parents on the coast and enjoy a fun night out with friends in Raleigh. And then, it was off to Europe!
This holiday was one of my favorites in recent memory, and I met incredible people at each stop. Here’s a bit of what I got into over two weeks:
Athens. After booking a same day- one way flight to Europe (post-Air Canada going on strike the day of my departure), I re-routed through London and happened to befriend my seatmate, Eric. Eric was traveling with his teenage kids, and invited me to join their walking tour when one of the kids canceled because of homework. We had a fabulous day touring the Acropolis and Parthenon and drinking champagne. I adored the family so much, I joined for dinner that night, too. Morale of the story: talk to strangers and don’t be afraid to say yes!
Santorini. After arriving at my charming rental, I set off on a 7 mile hike, walking from Fira to Oia. It was really tough and hot under the mid-day sun but I stumbled into Oia just in time for sunset (and pizza and white wine). The next day I joined an island boat tour and did some snorkeling. Santorini was restful, stunning, and worth the extra expense.
Corfu. Setting for the annual reunion with Rosanne! We drank spritzes, walked the historic UNESCO town, swam a bit on the coast, and ate fish dip under the sun. I love my bestie so much.
Ksamil, Albania. Albania was my wild card country this trip, and it did not disappoint! The Riveria is relaxing, affordable, and quickly catching on so I’m glad we went this year. We spent time at the beach clubs and hiked through hilly Sarande.
Gjirokaster. Back to solo travel at this point, I was unsure about this mountainous village stop but it became one of the highlights. I stayed at a fantastic, cozy hostel, meeting backpackers from around the world. I hiked to a cool bridge and saw roaming goats, explored the town castle, and had a hilarious night out eating home-cooked Albanian grub and dancing the night away.
Tirana. I appreciate a capital city and this one did not disappoint. I arrived in time for a city walking tour (always an opportunity to nerd out and catch the must-sees on limited time), and dinner before settling in for a restful evening + long journey back to the States.
As per usual, vacation was just so good for the soul – and it was almost as though everything just kept getting better from there. Francesca came for her first visit (to see me) in LA, and we had a great time. We packed a lot in, but my favorite moments were the simplest ones: blasting songs in my car and cruising around the city. We’ll be celebrating her birthday in Mexico in the coming weeks! We’re all turning 40 this year… when did that happen!?
Later in September, we attended the annual ‘Tashlich by the Sea’ beach event (which hits harder after the Bondi atrocity), before kicking off Rachel and Bill’s wedding weekend. I hosted Juliana for the occasion and it was great to spend some quality time together as we watched our childhood friend tie the knot. That same weekend, my brother proposed to his girlfriend, Lindsay. Biggest plot twist of the year!
And then Vas and I were off for a night in San Francisco for Tara’s 40th birthday party. A ton of us piled onto a boat, cruising around the bay with DJs, theme: upstage the bride. It was a fab day and the weather could not have been better.
October rolled on with the Dodgers winning the World Series for the second year in a row (and my neighborhood absolutely erupting), followed by a fun Halloween. I was broccoli, Kelly was a carrot. Simple, stupid, sensational. The greatest adjectives start with ‘s’.
As November began, things shifted yet again. I started seeing a great guy who I met in San Francisco. Over the next several weeks, we got to know each other while bouncing between LA, SF, and NYC. I spent Thanksgiving Eve with my friend Ericka’s hilarious family and camped in Carlsbad with Victoria and co on Thanksgiving Day. A really fun, alternative way to spend the holiday.
Dave and I had a lovely Manhattan weekend- my first omakase experience, a walk through Central Park, and some feel-good jazz. I then spent three days in Brooklyn with my cousins David, Dan, Aliyah, and Dan’s wife, Aly. After NY, I flew to NC for my third visit this year which included Jesse and Lindsay’s engagement party, as well as Anna’s annual holiday bash.
And here we are at Christmas time. As I sit here writing, reflecting on the highs and lows of the past year, I’m reminded that anything is possible. This feels like a personal affirmation- that even after the most painful experiences of loss, life has a way of pushing onward, and things can and do turn for the better. I’m grateful for all of it, and feeling hopeful, healed, and ready for 2026. Cheers, and wishing you the happiest new year ahead <3
As always so very proud of and inspired by you. Love you so much!
Don’t know how I missed this! Beautifully written by a beautiful individual. 2025 was so challenging in so many ways – personally and professionally. Very glad you have taken these experiences – both low and high – and integrated them into who you are to become stronger. We don’t always get what we want, but we can take what we get and make that worth living for.
Take care of you.